(I know it's Tuesday, but I had a blonde moment!!!)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Someone nearby will make disgusting slurping sounds in your favorite restaurant. You'll retaliate by glaring pointedly, and by eating your linguini with your fingers.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will discover that you can amuse your friends by pretending that your hand is a tsetse fly, and "walking" it along the table. Your friends are easily amused, as it turns out.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Fungus day today. Interestingly, you will discover that in order to engage in mycological research, you need go no further than your toes...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will be hit on the head by a carton of yogurt today, which will not strike you as being the least bit funny at the time. Later, of course, you'll all have a good laugh about it.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
.syas enoyna gniht elgnis a dnatsrednu ot elba eb t'now uoy yadot, ylddO
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will think of something hysterically funny, but not have anyone to tell it to.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Today you will wear way too much cologne and make strange unconscious lip-smacking sounds. You've been watching Comedy Night on The Subliminal Channel again, haven't you?
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will discover an odd amulet in an old curio shop, which is made entirely of holmium and yttrium, and which strongly interferes with the normal functioning of electronics. Best not to play with things like that.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
It's time for you to consider being kinder to your feet. And stop taking them for granted! For example, when's the last time you sat down and had a nice friendly chat with them? Do it today!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
This is a good time to remember Einstein's advice, to make things as simple as possible, but no simpler. That applies both to theoretical physics, and in your case, to dinner.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Following up on your accidental observation of the "sock dimension" (remember that sock you saw re-materializing a while back?), you will invent a machine to let you cross over the dimensional barrier. Sadly, you'll be one dimension off, and will pop into the lost pen and pencil dimension, where you will be severely poked.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will invent a new type of bath toy today. It will bring you fame and fortune, although it will also be the cause of an embarrassing appearance on the Letterman show.
Have a great day everyone
![Your Horoscope for today 18th Oct - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
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