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Your Horoscope for today 22 October

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bandit lover
In: Birmingham
Posts: 7765
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Aries (March 21 - April 19) Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it, unless the odd place is your eye. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) A man with a mystical yet somehow tortured expression will stop you on the street, today, and ask you for a name brand of prepared mustard. If you carry a jar with you, and surprise him, you will make his life seem worthwhile. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Good day to doodle. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Your neighbors will have a wild party, which you'll catch glimpses of through the open window. You'll know you shouldn't watch, but it's just hard to imagine how people can do that, especially on a trampoline. Leo (July 23 - August 22) Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy." Tomorrow's better, for that one. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You will soon need to look older than you actually are. Bushy eyebrows generally do the trick. You'll find that a little rubber cement and a pair of sleepy hamsters are just what you need. Libra (September 23 - October 22) An apple a day will keep the doctor away. Another tip you should consider: fresh figs can be used to avoid plumbers. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) A very pale young woman wielding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It'll turn out that your glasses are smudged. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that, things will be fairly normal. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) Time to do something about that high blood pressure. Have you tried leeches? Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Your neighbors will have a wild party, which you'll catch glimpses of through the open window. You'll know you shouldn't watch, but it's just hard to imagine how people can do that, especially on a trampoline.

Aries (March 21 - April 19) 
Today you will discover a hair growing in an odd place. Don't worry about it, unless the odd place is your eye. 
 
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) 
A man with a mystical yet somehow tortured expression will stop you on the street, today, and ask you for a name brand of prepared mustard. If you carry a jar with you, and surprise him, you will make his life seem worthwhile. 
 
Gemini (May 21 - June 20) 
Good day to doodle. 
 
Cancer (June 21 - July 22) 
Your neighbors will have a wild party, which you'll catch glimpses of through the open window. You'll know you shouldn't watch, but it's just hard to imagine how people can do that, especially on a trampoline. 
 
Leo (July 23 - August 22) 
Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy." Tomorrow's better, for that one. 
 
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) 
You will soon need to look older than you actually are. Bushy eyebrows generally do the trick. You'll find that a little rubber cement and a pair of sleepy hamsters are just what you need. 
 
Libra (September 23 - October 22) 
An apple a day will keep the doctor away. Another tip you should consider: fresh figs can be used to avoid plumbers. 
 
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) 
A very pale young woman wielding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people. 
 
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) 
Today you will see a free floating full torso vaporous apparition! It'll turn out that your glasses are smudged. 
 
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) 
Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that, things will be fairly normal. 
 
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) 
Time to do something about that high blood pressure. Have you tried leeches? 
 
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) 
Your neighbors will have a wild party, which you'll catch glimpses of through the open window. You'll know you shouldn't watch, but it's just hard to imagine how people can do that, especially on a trampoline.

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bandit lover @ 22/10/2011 14:54